Nine Months
by Delena2010
Summary: Dean isn't happy after witnessing Castiel and Meg's kiss and this doesn't go unnoticed by Castiel who wants answers. Dean warns Castiel to stay away from him but can't stay true to his words and gets Castiel alone whenever possible. Secret touching under the table and passionate kisses will lead to them both becoming part of something that will arrive in nine months!


**Nine Months**

**Chapter One – Burgers, Beers and Bromance **

**Dean Winchester P.O.V**

When Sam finally rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight I knew I wouldn't see him again tonight. All I wanted was to get his soul out of Lucifer's cage and back into him where it belonged. I just for once wished Sam understood that my instincts as his brother told me to protect him at all costs, I saw the way he was slowly starting to slip here and there and until he saw it for himself and got on board with the soul hunting case then I was going to work solo on finding a way to bring back my brother whether he wanted me too or not.

Tonight however I was taking a break, with Sam probably out on a bender I just wanted to grab a beer and wait by the phone for him no matter how much of a vagina that made me sound like.

I opened up the door to my car and slipped inside slamming the door shut beside me. With a roar the engine came to life and I leaded back and sat for a few minutes in silence listening to the engine instead of the radio. Drumming my fingers on the steering wheel I thought about what I had witnessed earlier with Sam, Meg kissing Castiel for explained reasons and then Casitel kissing her back and not in the type of Mr Darcy action I had expected from him.

Seeing old reliable Castiel slamming Meg into the wall demanding her lips on his was playing through my mind like a bad movie I'd quickly change to porn. Casting my eyes over to the building that still held the demons inside I began to wonder if Cas was still inside and surprisingly I actually wanted to know what the hell came over him that he would choose to kiss Meg over anyone else.

"Speak of the angel and he will appear" I whispered

The steel doors to the building moved opened together the sound of them crushing against each other made my spine shiver. I watched Castiel step out of the middle of them his eyes finding mine immediately. While he made his way over to the car I put on the heater finding it rather cold now, I clicked on the radio and it played wanted dead or alive lightly in the background as Casitel sat down on the passenger seat. Sam had suggested that Castiel go back inside and take care of the monsters we had left behind which judging by the look on his face he had managed to do.

We didn't speak as I drove out onto the main road. I didn't know about Cas but after the fight I needed some food and a chilled beer to wash it down. Then I'd have to get a motel room for the night too and no doubt Cas would either disappear or spend the night watching over me as the son of a bitch called it. Watching someone sleep was just creepy, people tend to drool in their sleep and there isn't anything pleasant about that even for a weird one such as Cas.

"This man singing" Cas finally broke the silence as he stared at the radio "He's a troubled soul, he has doubts over his ability for lasting love"

"You ok Cas?"

"Why do you ask?"

I smirked "For a guy who just got to first base you seem a little down in the dumps" I explained to him "Was it not all you imagined?"

"I've never played baseball, Dean"

I rolled my eyes "The kiss Cas, you and Meg's little gone with the wind moment back there. That's what you call getting to first base" I attempted to explain to him

"Yes that was rather unpleasant. The memory will fade with the winds of time"

"If it was so bad then why did you kiss her back?" I questioned before shrugging effortlessly

Cas went quiet which wasn't normal for him when it came to it just being the two of us together. It was a rather touchy subject and normally I wouldn't ask just with it being Cas it just made me that more curious.

"What you not going to talk to me?" I asked

Cas shifted uncomfortably in his seat and noted that I witnessed it.

"It wasn't everything I'd thought a kiss to be somehow it felt wrong and eerily cold"

I looked ahead and focused on my driving as we had just entered the town once again. It sucked for Cas, clearly that had been his first kiss and it was with the wrong person and the wrong time. Couldn't help but feel for him then, he didn't say anything else about it but the look on his face was telling me he was disappointed and after a day like today it was hitting him all the more harder ending it with that.

Normally I wouldn't have spoke about such a sensitive subject, guys shouldn't talk about bad kisses or sexual experiences just good ones. But when you'd gone through so much with someone like Cas you tend to let the walls down a little. Drumming my fingers lightly on my steering wheel I decided then to share with Cas in hopes of closing the subject before I got us to the first bar I could find.

"The first girl I kissed landed up tossing her cookies on my shoes" I shared "Just saying"

"Were you baking at the time of this kiss?"

I smiled happily sometimes he could really annoy me with this, but most of the time I hoped he would never change his angel ways.

"The only baking she was doing was baking a large about of vodka we had stolen from her folks house. We had sneaked off to some abounded warehouse together, she was drunk and I was twelve and up until now I've managed to block out that memory" I told him

Casitel merely nodded in response.

Scratching the back of my head as we stopped at a set of lights then "The next person you kiss, that will be better and soon you'll think of that as your first kiss" I assured him

"Humans are very complicated, it was wrong to assume a demon would make an easier partnership for me"

I laughed "Ah Cas come on" I met his eyes "You didn't really think you'd make it with Meg?"

Castiel looked ahead "Do you believe I am the wrong partner for Meg?" he questioned

I opened my mouth but I couldn't think of what to say to him. Cas believed in soul mates and true love, everything I didn't believe in he practically had tattooed over his heart. How can you tell someone that they aren't ready to handle what real love is? How could I tell Castiel one of the few people in my life that I cared about that love only brings you small minutes of happiness? Not forever.

I coughed under my breath "Uh" I said before driving through the lights when they finally turned green.

"Well?" Castiel offered

"I don't know Cas, All I know is that I'm starving" I explained my eyes watching the road and hunting for someplace to eat.

We didn't talk for the next ten minutes and the silence wasn't any better than the subject of kissing Meg. I pulled up in front of a bar on the other side of town they advertised serving food and that was going to have to be good enough until I saw a menu. The talk with Cas on the ride over had made me even more hungry, deciding to fill the silence with food rather than discussion sounded pretty good round about now.

The bar was quiet enough and it didn't look like we'd run into any trouble, we took a seat in a booth near the back and while I impatiently waited for a bar assistant I checked my phone to see if Sam had been in touch. Across from me in the booth Castiel was reading over the menu.

I spun my phone around in my hand the silence was getting to me and didn't seem to affect Cas in the slightest then I wondered if anything really did.

"I don't like her" I blurred out

Cas looked over the menu at me "Who, Dean?" he asked

I huffed running my hand through my hair and down the back of my neck.

"Meg. I don't like her"

"Oh"

"That's it? That's all you say is 'Oh'?"

"Why don't you like her?"

"She a demon, she tells you off, she refers to you as my boyfriend, her voice just goes right through you its way too deep and she walks like she's got something stuck in her ass...like her brain"

"Oh" he repeated

"You better knock that off" I warned him

Saved by the hell, the only bar assistant that seemed to be working and not helping themselves to the stock came to the booth and took our order. I ordered their hamburger deluxe, potato wedges and the beer I'd been thinking about for the last twenty minutes. Surprisingly Cas ordered himself apple pie with cream, sometimes this guy ate and sometimes he didn't it was one of those things.

"Are you worried about Sam?"

I nodded starring down at my phone in hopes of hearing some word from him soon. I was the older brother who knew too well that there are people walking around just hoping to find someone who looks like they've had a bad day and will be easier to attack. And I didn't want anything to happen to him while I sat here having a burger.

"When I get his soul back things will get better" I explained "No matter what anyone says its what I believe"

"It won't be an easy task"

I met his eyes "Between us Cas" I said

Castiel nodded

"Lucifer...do I really want to know how bad it would have been for Sam. Trapped with him?"

Casitel looked down to the table before slipping the menu back behind the salt and pepper beside us. Meeting my eyes there were words exchanged between us before he even opened his mouth. In that moment that profound bond Cas kept winging about made sense.

"I don't know what you want to hear, Dean"

The bar assistant arrived with my beer just on time, sipping two quick sips the beer chilled my mouth and filled me with not nearly enough alcohol I needed for this information.

"Talk to me" I told him

Cas leaded forward resting his arms on the table in front of him "Lucifer has made his name so fearsome for a reason, to say that Sam is lucky to not be with him is an understatement"

I nodded encouragingly

"He would have made every hour...hurt"

How could one word make my bones literally ache? Even when Cas was downplaying it for me.

I inhaled deeply "There's something else" I met Cas's eyes "Would Lucifer..." I shook my head "Would he have..."

Cas shook his head "I don't know" he replied

I knew Cas and he wasn't lying to me then. The burning question in my mind of what torture my brother endure had been replying daily in my head since he came back. Everyone who feared him knew what a sick son of a bitch Lucifer could be and I needed to know if my brother endured something so sever as...rape.

"Her shoes" Cas broke the silence

"What?"

"Meg's shoes, the clicking sound I find it to be a great annoyance" he told me

I smirked "And yet you kissed her?" I asked again

"She kissed me and I didn't want to seem impolite, the pizza man kissed the babysitter before the spanking began"

"And now are you planning to spank Meg?"

"No"

"Why not?" I took a sip of beer

"I don't think I'd like the sounds she'd make if I did"

I spat the beer in my mouth out and some of it got to Cas. I wiped over my chin using the back of my hand while trying to control my laughter, I grabbed a few napkins from the slot and because I did the damage I decided to wipe Cas's cheek myself.

"I'm sorry man" I laughed

"You've wasted your beer" Cas sat still as I wiped the beer from his face

My laughter dying down as I tried off around his chin under his lower lip my attention on the white napkin that brushed lightly against Cas's lip. I didn't look up which I should have I looked like an idiot and a gay idiot at that because it was now beyond awkward how long I had held this pose, checking out Cas's lips like I was suddenly interested in a new experience.

Thankfully the second I pulled away the bar assistant came back with our orders and the little incident didn't matter anymore. I ordered another beer believing I might need it after that little mishap. When the bar assistant stretched over to get my empty bottle I moved in my seat causing my foot to touch against Castiels.

Castiel had been reaching his fork when he felt my foot touched his and he paused and I waited for his to move. _Or I could stop acting like an unsure straight dude and just move my freakin foot myself. _Castiel's eyes didn't meet mine as he began to tuck into the apple pie in front of him. I had my chance to move my foot before it became anymore awkward but I didn't and as I began to tuck into my own foot I only wish I had.

I wasn't into Casitel I wasn't into dudes. I wasn't gay and this was just a result of having another day full of drama and another day when Sam didn't have his soul. I was tired this was the first I had ate in a while and all I needed was to eat and sleep and move my god damn foot.

My phone began to vibrate lightly beside my plate and I answered it without even swallowing my food first.

"Yeah"

"Its me" Sam spoke "I'm back at the motel, we might have a case just got a call about a possible cursed bar"

"Cursed bar?" I repeated

"Yeah I know how it sounds. Its about a days drive if we leave early in the morning. Where are you?

I paused looking away to the other side of the room allowing my foot to inch closer to Castiels not even knowing why exactly. I just wanted to know if he'd been the one to move first. Maybe me doing while I was on the phone could be construed as an accident. Or that's at least what I was hoping, well that and now hoping Castiel didn't ask me why I was doing or worse tell Sam that I attempted to play footsy with him...worse just on a single beer too.

"I'm getting food" I told Sam

Castiel brought his foot against mine not enough to make me jump but enough to know he felt mine touch his. I tucked my head down and slowly looked toward Cas to find he was already waiting to meet my eyes.

"Are you with Cas?" I heard Sam ask

"Yeah" I said my eyes focused ahead "I'm with Cas"

"Bring me back something. I don't care what but I am hungry" Sam told me

"Right"

Castiel hearing Sam's words was first to get to his feet and I followed grabbing a quick sip of my beer before walking over to the bar to pay.

"I'll bring you something" I told Sam before ending the call

Looking over to Cas I watched him getting into the car outside he didn't look back to me. I ordered Sam a hamburger, fries a few slices of garlic bread and two bottles of beer. From time to time I'd look over to my car and watch Casitel as he fiddled with the radio inside. I paid for our meal, drinks and Sam's take out before taking off outside.

It was just starting to get dark outside and I was already tired, I was happy that Sam suggested we drive tomorrow instead of tonight to this mysterious cursed bar hopefully tonight we'd get some catch up on our sleep I think we could both use it. I paused as I approached my car finding a bird had designed my hood with its own personal signature.

"Damn" I snapped

When I got into the car Castiel helped with Sam's take out and slipped it into the back seat. I didn't have anything to wash my car with and tomorrow we needed to head out early for the case.

"Bird droppings is a sign of good luck" Casitel said as I started up the engine "It should be seen as a sign of luck and not a mess"

"The bird who did this will need all the luck it can get" I sighed "I'm going to find a car wash"

Finding a bar in a town you don't know had been hard enough finding a car wash still open wasn't going to be the easiest of tasks. At least the car was a lot warmer than before and I had ate finally. Castiel fiddling with the radio had caused the station to change to some chick singing about a broken arrow. I'd rather be listening to directions to the town's nearest car wash...or anything but this song.

I was grateful to find a gas station with an additional car wash on the side that was still open only a few blocks from the bar. This town clearly didn't believe in signs, I hated this type of place where everyone knew everyone's name I bet its just too close for comfort. Like the way things had gotten back at the bar with Cas, thankfully it was forgotten about now and was about to be washed away like this damn bird poo.

I rolled down the window and paid for the car wash before rolling it up fully so no hot wax got to me.

"This isn't going to hurt is it?" Cas asked his eyes observing the washers above as I drove us inside the box like structure

"No" I smirked "Just make sure your windows all the way up"

Castiel quickly checked as I settled myself back into my back rest.

"This is a new experience for me" Cas explained

"It's going to be around eight minutes, its getting a wax too. Baby's gone too long without a wax" I sniggered

"Won't Sam's food be less enjoyable if its cold?"

I shrugged and closed my eyes "He'll live" I told him

I opened my eyes back up as I watched Cas settled into his seat and watched the washers come down on the window covering the car with soap like it was some kind of movie he'd never seen before. I couldn't help but smile slightly, got to give it to Cas he did see what others didn't. I settled back down and closed my eyes again.

What kind of song was this playing?

"_And you're sitting in the front row want to be first in line waiting by my window, giving me all your time, you could be my hero, if only I could let go but his love is still in me. Like a broken arrow. Like a broken arrow" _

I tuned out as being alone with Castiel right now in a car covered in soap and out of the public eye was weird enough. This wasn't such clique where my heart was suddenly racing for a guy. What happened back there wasn't going to happen again and Cas was being my FRIEND by forgetting it had happened too.

I exhaled deeply knowing come tomorrow there was a new case to handle and we'd be leaving this place behind.

I felt a hand cover my own and I doubted that I had managed to fall asleep in five seconds despite being this tired. I didn't open my eyes which I again regretted not doing, Castiel didn't take his hand off mine rather kept it perfectly still which only made it worse. I had started this and now Castiel probably thought he had to do this for reasons he couldn't explain because he didn't know any better...but then again Cas didn't do anything he thought was wrong.

"Do we need to talk about personal space again?" I questioned keeping my eyes shut

"I think I understand enough"

This wasn't supposed to happen between us we were friends. My heart was going to race like a love sick puppy for another guy. But right now Cas touching my hand was alright and no one had to know about it. I opened my eyes slowly and without turning my head looked to Cas who was looking ahead as the car was now being waxed. My eyes drifted down to where our hands met, there was no reason behind this and yet neither of us appeared to want to change it.

A dinging sound above us made us both flinch and drop hands. The car was washed and I pulled out of the spot wondering if it was possible that Cas had his hand on mine for eight minutes without me even realizing. I kept both hands on the wheel as I began to make our way back to the motel. Cas just stared out the window and was speechless for the first time tonight.

Right now I was the one in the driver's seat in both senses, I could easily drive us back to the motel and call it a night or I could speak up and tell Cas one of my closest friends that I didn't mind him touching my hand. Even thinking about saying it made my stomach turn, I wasn't gay and neither was gay he had just kissed Meg tonight.

I had never felt anything for a guy before and I didn't feel anything different towards Cas right now either. I just...wanted to tell him he could keep his hand with mine if he wanted too.

_What the hell is happening? _ I thought

"What are you going to do?" I asked breaking the silence

"About what?"

I coughed "I mean about tonight are you staying with us? I mean with Sam and me are you planning to stay until the case tomorrow?"

"I had thought to be"

I turned into the parking lot of the motel and had never been so pleased yet disappointed before. I pulled up in the available space outside our room for the night and through the open window saw Sam talking on his cell. He must have seen us pull up as he gave me a nod and continued with his phone call. I breathed in sharply and stretched my hand out taking Castiel's hand into mine bringing them together over the shifter. Cas looked to me but I kept my eyes and full attention ahead seeing that Sam was dangerously close to the window.

When I got out of the car I would put a stop to this night but knowing this was probably the last time it would just be me and Cas alone tonight I had took his hand and held it in mine. Our fingers were laced together and I held his hand tighter than I would a girls, Cas could seen now how close Sam was to seeing us and that despite the risk I had chosen to take his hand.

"Dean"

"Dont" I warned

I didn't want to talk about this. This wasn't about talking this wasn't about anything and if we talked about it then it would only make it confusing. I wasn't about to turn gay. I just needed Cas more than anyone else right now...

"Dean" Cas repeated

"I said don't"

Watching Sam get off the phone I loosened my grip on Cas's hand when Sam smiled and gave us a small wave.

"We don't tell him or anyone. Anything" I said

I let go of Castiel's hand then and let myself out of the car leaving him behind. All I had to do was get through tonight and tomorrow was a whole new day.


End file.
